My very own Karate Kid.



Purple belt! Hi-Ya!

What's with the eyeballs though. He gets embarrassed when I take his picture in public, so he is always like, "Come ON, Mommy! Please just take the picture!"

I am so wanting to get a new digital camera. Mine is three years old. And it is just not cutting le moutard anymore. It takes fifteen minutes to recover from taking one picture. So you are waiting, your subject has run away or flown away or is looking away, and then SNAP! You get a lovely pic of the back of a head.

I am up early! Already had me shower and it is 6:55 am! And the kids are all still asleep, although I can hear some stirring of little limbs.

Yesterday my front lawn was littered with children.



Here is Lucy getting a ride in her royal vehicle from her ladies in waiting, Julia and Paulina.



Of course I got the boys to make a pyramid for my personal fun and amusement.



And then I made them hold one leg up to see who could do it the longest. Then we had races.

Now. I am not usually outside like this with the kids. I am like most other parents, except a little bit lazier, I think. I like to hang in the house and hope that nobody bugs me just like everyone else.

But I am noticing that with Monty being older and wanting to be outside, and Lucy just loves being outside, that my 'house time' is seriously being cut back. Wahh!

It's probably a good thing. Gets me off me arse, off the phone, and engaged with the kids.

At least until the little ones are older and can play outside by themselves. Then I am back in my lair with a vengeance.

A.

A.

On Saturday the kids and I were at the mall, I was after getting a new frying pan since the T-Fal coating on mine is just spewing carcinogens all over the food. There was a booth there with these Dead Sea Minerals body care products. The salesman guy was this well groomed Israeli fellow who was exactly my height. He said, "Please come and look at this." as i walked by. I showed him that my hands were full of bags, plus I was pushing a stroller, plus keeping an eye on the two boys who were wont to streak off into Radio Shack at any second.

"Peut those down." He said. "Whin waz de las time someone pempered you?"

Like an automaton, I dropped the bags.

"I em gawhing to be right. You well see dis, it well amayhze you."

He took my hand, cleaned the nail polish off of one finger, and put on some cream. "Blehnd det in. Go ahed. And smell des fragrance wid de dead sea minearels. Do you know de Dead Sea?"

"I do know the Dead Sea." I said. "Um, well, I know about it."

"Yaes. This Dead Sea is amahyzing for nutrients. Yewh can't get dis ehnywhere else. I am gahwing to use the buffer on your nail now. I well be rahght about dis."

And he proceeded to buff and polish my fingernail. And, miracle of de miracle, my boys stayed put and just watched the guy. I think they were mesmerized by the accent. And he had the longest fingernails I have ever seen on a guy. And the crispest, whitest button down shirt. He was very interesting.

And very right! My nail looked great! Like it had a coat of clear polish on it, but it didn't. "Do you thenk I wes rahght?" He asked.

"I do." I said. "How much?"

"We are selling dis for $59.99. But today es the special for $39.99 for de whaole keet. It is a good deal."

"I am sure it is," I said. "It is just a little high for me."

"Bet you saw how amahzing dis product of the Dead Sea minerals is! You know Ah was rahght."

"I know!" I said. "It really does seem to be great. But that is too much to pay right now."

He hung his head. "You are the mahther of thes beautfil children. I make de commision of ten dollars on des package. I am going to tek that off for you. $29.95. Deal?"

"Deal." I said. How can I resist someone who calls my children beautiful and takes 10 off the top? And who wasn't afraid to deal with my raggedy ole fingernails?

I had to go home and check out their website. Here it is.

So. When was the last time YOU were pampered?

A.

Good weekend.

Friday day Joanne and I went downtown with the kids (Grace, Lucy, Seth, Monty), and went to the market and then to James street to the Portuguese/Italian market stores, and bought beautiful flowahs to plant. And they were cheap. Here is a Dahlina:



And these wicked pretty carnations:



We were quite pleased with ourselves. Except we shoulda brought a camera because Monty and Seth both wore red hats and at one point were eating strawberries and the juice dribbling down the chins and the big grins...

Saturday Jay and I and my MIL (Oma) took the kids to this great renovated old style movie theatre (The Movie Palace) on Concession street to see Madagascar.



What an awesome place. It is all done in 20's/art deco style, gorgeous hallway,



And the seats! The best part! Were booths! So our whole family fit in this comfy velvet covered booth, with a clever fold down table in front of you! So roomy and just great.



I love that there are people who have an interest in rebuilding a place like this. So much more preferable than the multiplex-move along youre in theatre 647- Nobody make eye contact with the customers- kaching kaching places. One theatre, with one ticket booth, showing one movie.



Madagascar was pretty good. The kids liked it, and with Ben Stiller and David Hyde Pierce you can't really lose.

Saturday night Jay and I went with his friend Rob to Rob's mom's stag and doe. Which was pretty mellow, but look what I won!



You gotta love a 1.75 Litre of Bailey's Irish Cream. I am so going to be making Bailey's Fudge today. Look out BWB. Let out the capris.

Yesterday Jay spent most of the day with Sam making a cross-bow for a school project. They really should have the kids make these out of popsicle sticks or something. Jay is such a perfectionist. Sam will be the only kid with a routed rifle style crossbow complete with a spring trigger. And I just know that Jay was dreaming all night about different ways he could have made that thing that would have been better. Alls I know is at 12:45 I have to walk that thing into the school with Monty and Luce in tow. And there is a good chance I will probly get arrested or at least detained while they call the police, have the Children's Services come and take my kids to temporary foster care.

Thankfully, Jay designed it so that the wooden arrow just pops out the top, goes about three inches (much to Sam's chagrin, of course). So as long as I don't have any baby powder residue on my clothing or anything ticking in my purse, they will probably let me off with a warning.

Alright, I am outty. Have a great Mon, yall.

A.

It is nine pm. For the thidr (see I am so tired my spelling is slippppingg.) day in a row, I am the one putting three kids down to bed. Jay working late. Wahh.

Okay I'm done. Just checked out this very interesting (and, frankly, kind of heartbreaking) blog, http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Where people send in postcards with their secrets. You just never know what people are walking around with, do ya.

A.

Well we're back from our excursion.

And I have two down, one to go. It's a beautiful thing.

We went for a drive, then to Burger King (becausetheyhavetheStarWarstoysmommy!please!MOMmy!)
then we went to Bayfront Park.

You know you are lucky to live where you live when you have a park like this in your city. What a beaut. It is this park that folds outward into the bay, which is part of Lake Ontario. It has a meandering path that loops around. There are these little nooks off the path....



Where (if you didn't have three kids and a stroller) you could sit and read or draw or contemplate the meaning of life.

We saw a bird's nest.



I tried, as I always do, to take a picture of my kids suitable for framing.



Hey, I said tried.

This is my favourite picture of the bunch. I love how Monty's feet aren't touching the ground.



We saw lilacs. My absolute favourite flower.



We fed the Canada Geese. But the squawky red eyed seagulls were faster.



This is what your face looks like if you are almost two and Canada Geese are coming up to your feet.



This is Sam in a rarely seen relaxed moment.



All that fresh air musta bin good for him. Here is a picture that Sam took! It's great! This girl jumped off her bike and chased the geese.



And lastly, a little brotherly love. Also rare.



Ahhh. Now. The serene images belie a few short facts. One, I had three minor aneurysms because M got too close to the water and I could see him falling in. Twice I had to yell at Sam for not listening. Lucy was a bit (alot) whiny because she wasn't allowed out of the stroller. (Or someone would have definitely gone for an impromptu swim.) But all in all, I am glad I got off my BWB (big white butt) and did an outsidey thing with the kids. It was fun.

After we went through McD's drive through and got cones. Lovely. There is nothing like a little white ice cream cone after a long walk. And nobody got any on the van's upholstery! Yeehaw! I have to say, I am quite pleased with myself when I have this little cone. If you have ever danced with bulimia for a while, as I have, being able to enjoy ONE ice cream cone, finish it, wipe your mouth with a napkin, and move on with your life, it is an amazing thing.

Now I am off to publish this blog to see how many pictures I messed up and will have to redo. Bon nuit!

A.

He was acting pretty silly whilst I was trying to put stuff away.
But honest to Pete, how do you look at this face, with this hat on, and get MAD?



We are so outta here after school. Jay is golfing tonight, which is fun for him, not so fun for me. The five hours from four till nine is like a month of Sundays, which leaves me on the couch, with a glass of DC half empty at my side.

Watched the finale of 24. It was decent. They found the missile and destroyed it WAY TOO QUICKLY though. Glad that Tony and Michelle got back together. Not sure what is going to happen next season though. Maybe Jack, Tony, Michelle, and Palmer start a renegade secret service spy agency, where they work behind the scenes to deflect corruption within the White House and keep the swarthy terrorists at bay. Maybe they will even let Audrey the Egghead in, because she can get them inside information.

Alright, guess whose rambunctious boys are home from school? MINE. And angel baby Lucy is up from her nap, making her little sounds, patiently waiting for someone to come and get her.

Advance thanks to Burger King for dinner tonight.

A.

Cleaned Monty's room last night. Had a little help from Frankenstein/John the Baptist:

Took a little blogging break.

But I'm back for the attack. Well, attack is a strong word. Let's just say I'm back. It was a holiday weekend up here in Canada. Queen Victoria's birthday dontcha know. We did some fun thingys, went to my parents for a barbecue, went to the park, Jay and Sam went and saw Star Wars. Sam was sur de la lune when he got back from that.

"HIMOMMYWESAWSTARWARS!ITWASAWESOME!DARTHVADERWASAWESOME!ICANTBELIEVEITSAFTERMIDNIGHT!ISTAYEDUPTHEWHOLEMOVIE!DOYOUWANTSOMEOFMYPOP!ITSHUGEEH?!THEREWASAROBOTGUYWELLHEWASPARTORGANICPARTROBOT!
ANDHEHADFOURLIGHTSABERSANDHEFOUGHTOBIWANKENOBIITWASAWESOME! AREYOUGONNAGOSEEIT? CAUSEICANGOWITHYOUANDTELLYOUWHATHAPPENSANDSTUFF!"

I think he enjoyed the film. Last night we did firecrackers on our street. Sam and his buddies set up lawn chairs on the sidewalk and at every firecracker they inched forward just a bit until they were almost in the gutter. They were hilarious. Monty entertained a little lady friend. They sat on their little teeny lawn chairs and watched the show.

And HERE is where I would put the picture up that I took of them. But I can't cause I don't have the USB cable it is at my SIL's.

More later. I must attend to a stench wafting over from someone's cute little diapered rear end.

A.

Since I cannae upload pics right now...



This is a good place to relax. If you get in close enough, and put your forehead next to one of these cheeks, and breathe in, it is very relaxing. Especially if you get a little kiss. One time I was snuggling into Monty and he said, in the quietest voice, "I yove you, mommy, yer my bes' friend."

A.

ARGH.

I took my Stuff Portrait day pics but I can't find the USB cable to get them off the camera and onto the computer.

So. I have put a technical request to husband at work via email regarding the whereabouts of this piece of equipment. He should be responding soon.

Please stand by. Or, um, go about your business and come back later if you are so inclined.

Happy FRIDAY!

Today's SPD is supposed to have another person in it, so



Me and Sam, on his 8th birthday. This is a good one for me to get out because it is important to remember that he is my sweet sweet first born boy under all that LIP. He really is great. Funny, and awesome with Monty and Lucy most of the time. He plays violin and piano. He is going for his purple belt in karate on Monday. He looks like me. He has compassion. He is a libra and they are almost always the nicest of people.

He loves science facts, chinese writing, and drawing. He is going into GRADE FIVE next year. He has these long eyelashes. He is quick to laugh.

Now I am off to pick up the yard. Had some kids over this morning. I want to be more of an outside person. I would much rather be inside at any given time. My favourite kinds of gardens/yards are the ones that are all enclosed, or that look like rooms. I loved The Secret Garden as a kid. With it's stone walls and vines overhead.

I will be posting some short videos later. Once Mr. Technology Left Brain gets home to show me some stuff.

A.

Yesterday, (I mean today, Monday) all my troubles seemed so HERE TO STAY.
Longest monday on record for a while. I had Sam home for the morning because he wasn't feeling too good, and he was tired. And it should have been fine.

A better mother could have handled it.

Really. That's how it feels, when every five minutes they are making a new mess, or fighting, or Lucy is crying because Monty is 'just playing' with her. Blech.
A whole box of straws, all over the kitchen floor. A big can of apple juice, M tries to pour it for himself when I am upstairs changing Lucy's bum, and spills it all over a stool, down the legs of the stool, onto the floor around the stool.
As I am volumizing my reaction to this ordealio, Lucy is upstairs playing in the toilet, because I forgot to shut and lock the bathroom door.
And I am tripping over toys, and the house is, as my father would have said, "The Height of Piggery."
And I am yelling like an idiot. Which has by this point lost it's effectiveness. I am just that crazy yelling lady don't mind her she will quiet down if there is Diet Coke.

I am on the phone with my friend Cari. And I am trying to put Monty's shoes on for school after calling him to me six hundred and fifty six times. And he kicks me in the face. By accident, of course, it is one of those struggling kicks, like, I don wanna go to school kicks. I stand up. Walk AWAY. Go into the living room, get Lucy's coat on. Come back to the kitchen. M. has dumped a basket of dirty clothes all over the kitchen floor.

I grab the toy pistol he has been playing with for two weeks. Right out of his hands. I snap it in two. I throw it in the garbage.

He throws himself on the floor. Crying. And I am fine with that. I am actually more than fine with that. I am happy that he is miserable.

"Time for school, Monty." I pick him up. Take him to the van. Go back, get Lucy, take her to the van. Yell up the stairs for the fourteenth time for Sam to come to the van. Sam tells me to "ReLAAXXX!"

It was just one of those days. One of those days when you are like, "Yuck." When your energy seems to seep out your toenails. When the good feelings you may have had about things on the weekend take a little trip and leave you with the nasties.

After school I just got through. I gave them dinner (tabouli and broccoli salad- it's called revenge, people, don't judge me.) and then took Sam to karate. Jay is teaching a course this week so it will be just us (by that I mean me and the three amigos) till after nine pm through Wednesday. I was too lazy and too much of a bad parent to let monty and lucy play at the park near the karate so we just drove around for half an hour. Lucy is at that age where the park is work. She runs willy nilly and it is all you can do to keep up with her so she doesn't get kilt.

Things looked up around eight. Put M in bed, then Lucy. Then Tracy came over and it was time for 24. Which was great. Then Jay came home safe and sound. So in the end. I am sure I have slipped down in the ratings for MOTY 2005 but I was pretty far down in the placings anyway. Alls I know is everyone is asleep and fine and tomorrow is another day.

The thing is, Mondays come every week, no matter how many dirty looks you give them. But, thankfully, they only last twenty four hours.

A.

Listening to Michael Franti and Spearhead.

Loving this:

I think it is a Quick Time file. If you close your eyes and listen, it feels like you could be at a free outdoor concert, without a care in the world. Bit of a long intro on this live track but it's worth the wait.

Don't fear the long road...
Cause on the long road you gotta long way to sing this ample song.

A.

There is so much about the world that I don't know.

Last night we watched, courtesy of Jay's friend Rob M., two episodes of Penn & Teller's "Bullshit" show. Very interesting. The first one was about recycling and how it is an 8 billion dollar industry in the US that doesn't make the difference that everyone thinks it makes. It was a bummer. I love recycling! Now I gotta find out more about it. I am hoping that it is not so grim up here in Canada. I will find out and get back to yas.

The second show was about PETA. Eep. Here I thought they were this great organization that helped animals. Well, they do help some animals, but they are kind of off their rockers. Alot of people who are animal rights supporters and activists have broken away from PETA, because they have been involved in some violent methods to get their point across. They are for total animal liberation. So no zoos. No animal testing. No farms. NO PETS. Hmmm.

Anyway, lots to learn. I love shows that make you think. Of course, for every strong opinion you will find an equal and opposite strong opinion. But there is nothing wrong with QUESTIONING things. Too much of my life,I know, is about just going along with things because that is the way they are. This show reminded me of my cultural studies professor. Who said that when someone says, "It's common sense" we should always ask "WHO'S common sense?"

So I will keep trying to learn. I am only 12,787 days old after all. And learning new things is a good way to prevent early onset Alzheimers. Which I am always for.

A.

STUFF PORTRAIT FRIDAY

Okay, Susie had a great idea with this! Here goes.

First is the ugliest thing hanging in my house:



This is one of the lights that hangs on my wall o bricks fireplace. Ugh. We have a bonafide 70's rec room down there. The bar is solid brick. The walls are panelling. The floor is those terrazzo tiles. And the lighting fixtures are funky. Check out the homemade wood bracket! Somebody needs to tell this rec room that Alice does'nt live here anymore.

Number 2. My hair products.



I don't know what I am doing. I buy these flippy/sculpty/texture products, some of which I am sure are made of Flubber, in the hopes that I will have some fun hair. And in the end, it just kind of hangs there. It looks totally great when I get it cut. Then it is back to whateva.

Third, a material object I can't live without. Hmm. I am not a jewelry person. Mostly because I lose things. And losers like me can't keep stuff for very long so we try not to get too attached to it. I don't even have a diamond ring. Just a generic gold wedding band that I have lost and found four times. Once I lost it looking for Christmas trees outside of a garden centre. And went back and searched on my hands and knees for it. Didn't find it. So I bought a new one. Then, after Christmas, when we were taking the tree down, wasn't my old one in the tree stand water. Hey! So I took back the one I had bought. So I am not a jewlery personne. But one thing I do love very much is the quilt my quilty mom made for me a few years ago. We picked the fabric out together. It is loverly.



On the back of the quilt she put an inscription.



Gotta love the mamma.

Alright, I am out of here, before i get ROOTS tourettes again.
A.

Well, I have air conditioning now! Whoopee!

I HAD to bring ROOTS to Honda and read it whilst I was waiting for my van to get fixed. And I just HAD to be on the last 15 pages, where it all ties together with the authour becoming part of this long saga of this amazing African American family, finding documents that told him all the stories he had heard from his ancestors were true. It was unbelievable. And of course, being me, I am sitting there in the waiting area BAWLING MY FOOL HEAD OFF.

When he goes back to Africa to the village of Kunta Kinte and the people rush to meet him because he is 'one of them' (I am crying AGAIN writing this) I let out this choked sob in Honda and there were some ladies talking by the service desk and they looked over at me.

I held up the book. "Sorry, I am just finish-sh-ing this b-book and i-it's making me cuh-cry."

They were like "Awwww!" and one of them brought me over a box of kleenex. I promptly shredded three of those kleenex over my eyes and nose. And kept reading, right to the end, having to push out my bottom lip to blow cool air upwards towards me eyes so I could still see the words.

CAN I SAY ONE MORE TIME. I LOVED THIS BOOK.

Geez, sometimes I wear myself out with myself.

ROOTS! ROCKS!

I'm done now.

A.

Saw "The Interpreter" last night. It was decent. I had a few teensy naps, like this:



You can see that Nicole Kidman is eventually going to become a head on a shish kebab stick. And that is Sean Penn on the right, who was pretty great in this movie.

Jay brought home a Caramilk chocolate cake (23.95 at Fortinos grocery store - only a guy would spend that much on a cake without batting an eye) and Rolo ice cream. The kids loved it. As did I, even though I had already treated myself with the Deningers. (Hands up whose capris gonna be tight this weekend?) And he got me a celebrity hairstyle magazine, because I had been saying I am after getting a new style. Saints preserve us, sometimes they actually hear what we say.

So today I am BACK to Snobbing Honda so they can continue their tests on the air conditioning. Not my favourite way to spend an hour or two but whatevah.

I am almost done ROOTS. I feel like I have been through it all with those people. It is a GREAT read. It is a saga. An adventure. A historical piece. What these people went through. And I whine about the price of gas per litre. Well, actually I don't, I just can't think of a good example. But you know what I means.

Alright, gotta go!

A.

Deningers Fun



After sitting at the Honda Dealership for two hours (the air conditioning on our new van doesn't work) I stopped in my favourite gourmet food store. And bought whatever tickled my fancy. Smoked Gruyere cheese. Thin keilbasa. 2 chocolate eclairs. 2 Neopolitan slices. Black and Red Licorice berries. A jar of hazelnut stuffed olives. A jar of toffee vanilla cream sauce (not even sure what I am going to do with this!)
And so on.

I love food. I love imported delights and bakery goods and I adore exotic cheeses from Holland. I am going to savour these little treats (and share the sweet ones with the kids (probably)) over the next few days.

It's a black n white birthday.

Better than a black n blue birthday I guess, eh? I would have put it in colour but then you would have seen where I squeezed a few zits that showed up this morning. Didn't want to remember my 35th birthday with a picture of THAT.

I do not feel 35. That is like, how old my mother was when I was like 11 years old. I remember her being 35. She had a perm. And her hair was going grey pretty good. Now she dyes it, (Well, Luis Navas at Salon Madrid dyes it) and it is coppery red and gorgeous. I have so far managed to either yank out the grey hairs or they get covered up by my once every three months Miss Clairol Lovin' Care session.

Gotta take Monty (and Sadie, I remembered for three days in a row, yay!) to school soon. I will reminisce more later about birthdaze and other nonsense later.

Have a good one!

A.

TGIM

Finally, it's Monday and I get a little down-time! It was an uncharacteristically (man that is a long word to type out.) busy weekend.

Friday Sam had a violin concert. They got first place in the little music festival! Just betwixt you and me, I am not entirely sure there were any other competitors in the 10 years and under category, but first is first! Even when you are the only one you are still number one, especially if you are my kid.

Sat morning was cool. Our church and a couple other downtown churches got together and did a downtown garbage pickup type thing. We hooked up at 9am, got into groups, put on gloves and walked around with garbage bags, just pickin up trash on the street. I drive through downtown all the time and see garbage and think 'what a shame' just like everyone else. It felt good to be actually getting down and picking it up. Plus I got to chat with my darling Jola Silver whilst I was a garbage picker. Which makes any saturday morning a worthwhile event.

Then Ah went from garbage pickin to pedicurin! My toes look pretty great. My cousin Nat is an aesthetician and she hooked me up with some delicious new Sebastian Trucco makeup too. Good timez.

Sun we had churchola (felt like I lived there this weekend) and Sandy and I were on for Sunday School. Except I volunteered to go to Tim Hortons for tea and sustenance. Which took me forty five minutes in the mall! It was VERY busy at the donut shop. There was a war vet guy behind me (all dressed up in his war vet uniform with the badges and rakish hat) and I turned to him and said, "Well, there, what are you havin? I'm buyin." Because it was the 60th anniversary of VE day and all. He was really sweet, I asked him what he did in the war and he told me he was on a machine gun for five years. His name was George. He said, "Wait'll I tell my pals I got a coffee bought for me by a good lookin' girl!"
Didn't I see him in the paper this morning. He went to a big veteran's celebration.



Neat.

We went to brunch (well, late lunch) at my parents yesterday afternoon. Gotta love my dad. He had a batch of frozen margaritas all hooked up in the freezer! Happy Mother's day indeed! It was awesome to be finally sitting outside in warm weather, the kids have so much more fun out than in. We have quite the little crowd going with the seven grandkids running around. I wonder whose next to get up the pole. Hmmmm.

Well, I have copious laundrificus to take care of. Later I will do a mini review of the movie I took my MIL and SIL to last night, "A Lot Like Love".

See? I tole you it was a bizzy weekend.

A.

Update on driving Sadie to school:

Well, there I sat today, resting on my laurels, basking in the warmth of all your lovely comments, feeling good. I was talking to my friend Lisa who was over, about Kristines blog and how she had done something nice and how great it would be if there was this rash of nice goings on that started from a simple Girl From Ipanema's blog. I told her about my offering to drive Sadie, sipping my Diet Coke and generally feeling fine.

"Well," she said, "When were you going to start doing this?"

"Today," I said. "Neat, eh?"

"Sure," she said. "I think it's great. Why are you still sitting here talking to me then?"

I looked at the clock. Totally late! "Shit! Watch Lucy for me till I get back!!" I grabbed Monty, his bag and shoes, and flew out the door.

I picked up Sadie. They got to school just in time. Whew.

Gotta love Miss Thang sitting there, drinking my DC, gettin all up on meself, while forgetting that I had to GO AND DO THE THING I WAS TALKING ABOUT.

Note to self: Hey, Self: Get over you.

A.

A la Kristine, I did something today that I had been thinking of doing for a while.

There is a little girl that Monty goes to school with, her name is Sadie (same as my niece!). For a while now I have seen her and her mom and usually her baby brother walking to school. I pretty much drive Monty to school everyday at 12:45, as it is like a twenty minute walk and um, I am usually not in the mood to walk with both kids all the way there and then back home. (okay, i am a bit lazy.)

But Sadie and her mom and brother used to live across the street from the school. Now they live even farther than I do. And they have no vehicle. So today I passed them again, and I saw Sadie exploring someone's front lawn, and her mom pulling the wagon and pulling her by the hand to come on. And I know exactly how that feels.

I didn't get my license till 29. And I took the bus and walked everywhere with Sam in tow. And I always swore that one day when I had a car I would give people like me a ride whenever I could.

So when we got to school, I went up to Sadie's mom. I said, hey, I have seen you guys walking to school. It must take forever sometimes, eh?

And she said, Yeah. It does sometimes. And she shrugged her shoulders. It's not bad when I don't have to bring the baby too. His grampa came and got him today.

Well, I said. I don't live far from you. Why don't I pick Sadie up and bring her with us?

She said, Wow, yeah, that would be awesome.

I said, Do you want to call me or should I just come tomorrow around 12:30?

She said, We don't have a phone for a little while. So if you could come that would be great.

I said, Cool. I'll be there tomorrow.

So Easy. I mean, sure I will have to leave like six minutes earlier. Sure I will have to get Sadie and Monty and Lucy out of the car and take them down the hill to where the kindergarten class is. But so what? It's an eensy bit harder for me, where she was walking for probably 45 minutes everyday, rain or shine.

Thanks, Kristine.

A.

The Astronaut's Mattress part II

It has been 5 nights. And things are still good. There is, I think, an adjustment period though. I have had some restless sleep and the legs have been a bit howaya in the middle of the night. I find that my deepest sleep is from say 4 am on. So by the time wakey wakey comes around 645, I couldn't be more in the sleep zone. My legs are utterly relaxed. I could sleep for two more hours if I could sleep for two more hours.

I think I may need a pillow adjustment. My neck is super sore and stiff. The mattress pad makes my whole body lower on the bed, so maybe my pillow is too high? I don't know. Something is off. I am still lovin my memory foam, no chance I will be returning it. I think I just need a month or so to get used to it.

Plus a small middle child named MONTY is having 'bat dreams' about bugs in his bed. So he wakes up and comes into our bed, and of course at that point I am waay to lazy to get up and make the case for him to return to his own bed. So he wriggles his little personage between me and jay, then climbs over me to the outside edge, then back to the middle, then to the foot of the bed so then I am having to partially fold myself into a 'Z' so I don't kick him right off the end of the bed.

Hmm. Maybe the Nova Form ain't the problem of the restless sleep at this point, eh?

Any HOO. I gotta get the sleep disturber to skewl now.

A.

PS. I booked meself a Mom's day present on Sat. PEDICURE. Yum.

Why Mommy, WHY??



Son: Why can't we just have GOOD STUFF to eat?

Mother: Good stuff like what.

Son: Like, like CHICKEN FINGERS AND FRIES. Like MCDONALDS. Like KRAFT DINNER.

Mother: Because.

Son: Because Why??

Mother: Because you can't eat that stuff all the time. It's not good for you.

Son: Why isn't it good for us?

Mother: Because.

Son: Because Why??

Mother: Because there aren't enough vitamins and minerals in Kraft Dinner and McDonald's to keep you healthy. To help you grow.

Son: Who CARES?

Mother: I do.

Son: Why?

Mother: Because I'm your mother.

Son: So WHAT?

Mother: Go set the table.

Son: WHY? WHY Should I? I don't want to EAT that FOOD ANYWAYS!

Mother: Go set the table. NOW. (Opens fridge to see if there is any wine. There isn't.)

Son: But-

Mother: No Buts. (Piercing pain to the side of the head. I have become my father. I get it now.) Go set it.

Son: TURDS!

Mother: Whatever. Set the table.

Son: Turds! I'll set the table with turds!

Mother: Cool. You do that.

Son: I WILL! I HATE THAT STUPID FOOD! I AM Not EATING IT! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU-

(Daddy comes home. Front door shuts behind him.)

(Silence.)

Son: How many forks, Mommy?


A.

Blechness:
Ninety-nine piles of laundrah on my bed. Dishes all over the counter. Two kids to get teeth brushed, pjs on, stories read to. Bathroom to tidy. Living room to put back together. Dining room floor to be swept AFTER I pick all the sticky lil pieces of spaghetti off the floor because all they do is stick to the broom. Toys to be put away. Gotta have a shower tonight unless I want to have one before 645 am tomorrow.

Yayness: 24 is on tonight! And Medium! I made Rice Krispie squares today and didn't tell the kids yet so there are lots left. I went for a big walk with kids today, got me exercise. Spring is thinking about coming soon. I saw tiny new leaves on the trees today. Next week is mah 35th birthday. Lucy is super-cute. I bought a beautiful pineapple. I haven't used the mastercard for almost a month. I didn't overeat the pasta at dinner and feel too full. I have an astronauts mattress cover. I talked to three friends on le phone today.

Alright, alright. The Yays win. For tonight.

A.

Happy Early Birthday to Me.



After months of thinking about it, I bought this. It is the
NovaForm Elite "Memory Foam" Mattress Topper

"Developed for NASA to provide relief for astronauts undergoing G-forces, this revolutionary "Memory" foam mattress topper immediately responds to your body's heat and molds around you, relieving pressure points and improving circulation. With exceptional therapeutic cushioning and support, you will enjoy a peaceful night's sleep and wake up feeling refreshed and rested."

And it's TRUE. I have suffered (And I mean SUFFERED) from restless legs and restless sleep for years. I can be tired beyond tired, go to bed, and lie awake till 4 am tossing and turning until I could cry. It has gotten worse during pregnancies, and as I get older (blech) I find that it gets a little worse every year. Poor Jay has been sleeping with Mrs. Fidget all this time. So not only have I been getting poor quality sleep, so has he.

I have taken iron, cut back on caffiene, taken multivitamins, antideppressants(which made it worse), clonazepam(which caused me to have a little car accident because I was drowsy), lorazepam (which did nothing), gravol, actifed, and other items I can't even remember. I have gone for a brisk walk before bed for a month. I have stretched more than a yogi master. I have pummeled my legs with my own fists, taken scalding hot baths and freezing cold ones.

I have tried alot of things. Probly not everything. But an A plus effort nonetheless. Once I even took a crib mattress and slept UNDER it to try to keep my legs from wanting to move. Didn't work.

But this memory foam mattress cover. It might be the thing. I have slept for the past three nights. Not right through the night, but definitely I have slept harder than I have in a long time. I think it is because the foam sort of hugs your body and keeps it in place. It really is lovely. You feel yourself sort of sink into it like quicksand. But without the whole drowning thing. You only sink so far.

I am impressed with the Novaform Memory Foam Mattress Topper. It was expensive, $144.95 plus tax, but hey, what is sleep worth to you?

Besides, I got it at Costco. Where they have the delicious money back guarantee. So if this is just the honeymoon phase and after a week I am still tossing and turning, I can take it back.

But I don't think I will. I hope I won't. I want to sleep when I am tired. It is such a simple thing until you can't do it.

Alright, well, Army's self indulgent Novaform post is over and OUT.

A.