Quick note:

I adore 24 and am loathe to say anything bad about it but if they say the word "override" on that show one more time I am going to hurt somebody.

A.

At the risk of jinxing myself I must report to you that as of today 0219 hours, I have not gotten sick.

I am sure that as soon as I finish this blog a wave of nawzeeahh will come over me but right NOW I am jim dandy. Cool, eh?

Was it just me or were the Academy Awards a bit of a snoozer this year? And I get the whole time constraint thing but it was a bit awkward to have people popping up and accepting their awards all over the theatre, like an Oscar whack-a-mole game.

My favorite dress was Charlize Therons blue cotton candy number. Over the top but oh so Southern Belle! She looked like a birthday cake and I loved it.

Least fave was Natalie Portman in that weird Greek number. It looked like it was made of crepe paper, and when she sat down she probably had to fold it first. Weird colour, too.

Glad that Jamie Foxx won. After going through hell with "Ray" in the background of my life on Friday night, I really felt like he and I connected. His speech was nice and I loved that his little daughter accompanied him. But now, of course, I need to know the story. What happened to that little girls mother and Ray? I mean, Jamie?

Since I saw no movies this year, I can barely comment on anyone deserving anything. But I can comment that Hilary Swank's dress looked a little like she was playing sexy lady dress up with a pair of blue sheer drapes. I guess it was different, but there was a quality to the fabric that bugged me. Not Natalie Portman origami paper dress annoying, but H's dress gave me that feeling you get when you would play in the sand for a long time.

What's with me and the fabric textures? You'd think I went blind at seven years of age and had to rely on feeling everything to get around. Or just that because I saw NO movies, (except Ray) all I can do is find things to say about the clothes.

Rene Zellweger has a problem. She looked terrible, waay too thin and pale, like she had fell into a vat of flour and then had someone wrap red satin around her as tightly as possible. She should have measured that flour out and made a batch of cookies for herself.

I kind of wish Johnny Depp would get over himself. The artist/french/evasive/non-Hollywood thing is getting old. You see a guy like Leonardo Dicaprio and how he carries himself and answers questions with a direct eye and it reminds me of the old time movie stars, like Cary Grant or Gene Kelley.

All five nominated songs were crap. At least, the way they were performed last night they were crap. Maybe the first song was good but I couldn't stop looking at Beyonce's hospital yellow eyeshadow. Antonio Banderas sounded like a spanish cat in heat when he did his song. (Maybe he is stressed out at having to pay for yet another set of boob implants for Melanie. Did you SEE those flotation devices? Run from the hills!) The lead singer from Counting Crows was way off. And the other two Beyonce pay cheques were not memorable at all.

I did like Morgan Freeman's speech. That guy is just great.

Chris Rock was alright. Played it pretty safe, I thought. The best part was when he interviewed people about the movies and none of them had seen any of the nominated films but they all got excited when he asked if they had seen White Chicks. Ha.

Alright, well, I could yammer on all day, but I better go at least make an attempt at picking up a few things around here.

Toodle oo Fu Man Chu.

A.

Oh, What a Night.

I am still reading Lords of Discipline. And let me tell you, it has helped to be reading about this brutal military college and the torture that the boys went through: the hazing, the tormenting, the beatings.

Helpful because I am a Lord of Discipline myself of sorts. At least, I was last night.

Lucy has had a bug for a coupla days. Diahhrreeaa (can never spell it so i just try to make it as poorly spelt as possible) and vomiting. And because we all love our little scrumptious red headed lady so much, we tend to get whatever she gets, virus wise.

So. Last night.

0900 hours : Monty wakes up from a deep sleep with a long piercing cry. You hear that cry and it is like a giant marine animal distress call. You just feel like there must be a thousand humpback whales dying on a beach somewhere. But instead it is just that he has barfed all over himself in his bed. Run him to the bathroom, on the way there he makes several vomitus deposits along the hallway, then continues hurling like the Hun for ten minutes. Everyone joins us in the bathroom as we watch in wonder the wiry little french fry body that is Monty taking a beating over the toilette.

0930 hours: Settle M on the couch. Get Lucy down after her fourteenth bath of the day.

0945 hours: Monty barfs into Oma's blue pail that we will be seeing alot of in the next eight hours.

1030 hours: Jay doesn't feel good and falls asleep while we are watching Ray and keeping vigil over M on the couch.

1040 hours: M. Blue Pail. Not much left in the kid to come out, but the heaving is happening.

1130 hours: Lucy wakes up crying. Now I have both of them on the couch with me watching the movie. Jay has gone to bed. It could be worse, though, I could have gone blind at seven years old.

0030 hours: M heaving again. Lucy needs another diaper change/full body hosedown. Blech.

0100 hours: Would it be callous of me to insert here that Ray was a fantastic movie?

0130 hours: The hazing begins. Jay comes hurtling out of bed to vomit violently and loudly.

0145 hours: Sam comes flying from his bed to barf his brainz out.

0155 hours: Mise-en-scene: Me in the hall with Lucy on my lap and a zombie like Monty lying beside me. Sam sitting on toilet begging for the pain to stop. Jay hanging over bathroom sink, waiting for the end of the world.

0215 hours: Relative calm.

0240 hours: Sam. Blue Pail Special.

0300 hours: Monty. Dry heaving in my arms with a towel over his mouth.

0345 hours: Jay. In bathroom with door shut. Privacy, please.

0400 hours: All the kids are up. Jay in bed. We tramp downstairs and settle on couch. Sam uses pail again. Monty asks for some licorice.

0430 hours. I think we may be asleep. Sort of.

0500 hours. Put Lucy in crib. Hang out in bathroom with Sam and Monty while they both have a go. We talk about the Son of the Mask, humpback whales, and going to Grampa's on Sunday.

0530 hours: Back down to couch with Sam and monty to see what is on Treehouse TV. Apparently a symptom of this bug is sleeplessness. For them. Not me. Am. I. Tired.

0600 hours. Lucy wakes up crying. Did I mention how happy I am not to have gone stone blind at seven years of age?

0610 hours. If Blue Pails Could Talk. This one would say he quits.

0630 hours. Monty points out the kitchen window and informs me it's morning. I put the kettle on and go get my paper off the front porch.

0700 hours. Little cat nap with Lucy on me and Sam on couch beside me and Monty eating licorice in the kitchen.

0900 hours. Laundry. Must be done.

Now. sitting here at computer in kind of a daze. Is it still February? How old will I be this year?

A spectre is haunting me. Because I am the last soldier standing. When will this virus come and get me and lock me in the hole and burn cigarettes on my back? Doesn't matter. I am a Lord of Discipline. I can take it.

A.

Day Three of Jay home late.

Blecheroo. Tonight is night class for Papa Forderer. I keep looking at the clock. Seven fifteen means I can legitimately put Monty down. Then Lula at eight-thirty. Then Sam at nine.

Then me. On the couch. Like a slug.

I think I may watch "Ray" tonight. I can't believe I am so unprepared for the Academy Awards this year. Usually I make it my job to see most of the best pictures. I think I have actually gone to maybe three movies in the past year. Probably my worst stat since I was like fourteen and didn't have any money for the movies.

When I was eleven I remember going with my big sis Jen and her friend Rosanna D'ariano to the movies. I can't remember which movie we were SUPPOSED to see, because we didn't see that one. We went to see "Little Darlings" with Kristy McNichol and Tatum O'Neill.

I had hardly a clue what they were talking about in that movie. The big 'losing the virginity' contest was completely lost on me. I did (like every other girl on the planet) fall in love with Matt Dillon that day. A one sided romance that lasted at least until The Flamingo Kid.

I kept asking Jen what are they talking about? She shh'd me and told me to watch the movie. After on the bus home I kept asking her questions about the movie. She told me not to worry about it. AND NOT TO TELL MOM WE WENT TO SEE LITTLE DARLINGS. I am pretty sure I kept the secret. Even though my lack of knowledge burned a hole in my young head.

The hole didn't burn for long, though. A few months later Jen had a copy of the book "Forever" by Judy Blume between her mattresses and I got a hold of that puppy and learned myself all there was to know.

And then some.

Big sisters.... The best source of info if you know how to spy.

A.

Wanna see me do stand up?

Jay has sent this link to most all our peeps but in case anyone else was interested, you can see my set from last week's humour conference if you have Windows Media Player. You need to go to our family website at

www.forderers.com

Sorry you have to cut and paste but I tried to put a link in three different times and i can't get it to work. Computus Dorkus I am.

And you will see where you need to click there. You can also see me hubby doing a little 80's guitaring and singing. Fun!

A Ladies Night, A Baby Shower, Tree Fighting, and more.

Busy weekend! Friday I went to a ladies wine and cheese at Lisa's friend Kelly's house in Waterdown. Had a ton of laughs, sitting around her dining room table with the wine and the cheese and the fancy sandwiches. Then we went downstairs and had a little dance pad competition. The dance pads are ON MY BIRTHDAY list, if I can last that long without them. What a hoot. We were very bad at it, except for Kelly, and our hip hop moves were more like spasms but it was fun!

Sat was baby shower for my friend Mary (having a little my friend Mandy flashback here) and her little preemie Sophie. It's always good to go to Sandy's, and always good to see the Furlong girls. I can't wait to meet this little Sophie! She is doing so well (born at 29 weeks gestation) they might be sending her home within two weeks.

Last night Jay and I watched HERO with Jet Li (sp?). It was good, very Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, with the flying over the tops of trees and red kimonos and flower petals all over the place. I kinda fell asleep halfway through for about fifteen minutes and had some chinese style dreams of my own, with me in a temple waiting for a sword to be made in my honour. Weird.

Today was more mellow, I took Monty with me to church as Lady Luck is still recovering from her bad cold and badder ear infection. It was a good service, the nicest part was that from where I sat I couldn't see the words to the songs up on the screen. And this was nice because instead of the screen, Shermeen Chan was in my line of vision playing her violin. It is such a nice thing on a Sunday morning to watch someone play the violin, especially someone who looks like a china doll, with her eyes closed, playing this instrument with these light wavering fingers. It is one of those moments that I will file away and go back to when I need a little beauty and meditation.

Jay took Sam and Monty to see the Son of the Mask late this afternoon, so Looch and I hung out. She is doing amazing things lately, like kissing me and hugging me on command and saying "Shoo shoo" and taking all her antibiotics like a good girl.

And now it is eight o clock. EEp! Pile of clothes on my bed to be put away. Anyone up for the job?

A.

It's bedtime.

Not bathtime or dinnertime or storytime or wipe the nose time. Not piano lesson time or school bus already passing our house get out there and run! time. Not Miller time or Hammer time.

I am tyred. ARms heavy can't type any numbers because they are too far up on the keyboard. Mrs. Sheehan my ninth grade typing teacher would be disGUSTED right now. She had us sit with our backs straight and one foot slightly ahead of the other, fingers on asdf jkl; and wrists UP and OFF the desk. If your wrists are UP they are READY for ANYTHING, she would say. What besides typing would they be ready for, I wondered.

Tomorrow is a PD day for the boys which means I will be getting out of this house by mental time which is usually about 10:30 am. They both need hair cuts, which should be interesting as the last time monty had a haircut at a salon was the LICE DISCOVERY DAY. So I won't be going back to that place. And the time before that it was like watching semi pro wrestling. I think I blogged about it way back in oh May or June 2004.

Can't believe I will have had this blog for a whole year on March 1st! I have never done anything that was entirely optional for a whole year before in my whole life. Anything writing wise, anyways. I may have to celebrate. I may have to have a Stella Artois.

Alright well let me out of here I must go to bed and read a little Lords of Discipline. I love buying these funky paperbacks from the Amity, you never know what youre going to read next. Yesterday I picked up a 1977 copy of Alex Haley's ROOTS. Hey, I did say I loved the show Good Times, didn't I?

NIght.

A.

Ooh La La, it's not even 7:30 and I'se a bloggin'. Jay leaves for work around 7:15 am, and the kids always wake up at one point of his getting ready or another. I know people whose kids sleep in till 8 or 9, but this just isn't a quiet enough house for that. Wahh.

Turns out I didn't need to go for a walk OR do a yoga tape last night. I did the NO FRILLS DOLLAR SALE WORKOUT. Talk about getting your heart rate to maximum target. 6 Petit Danone yogurts for $1.00! Lunchables Lunchmates for $1.00! 6 big beautiful Country Harvest bagels.....how much? $1.00!

I went out after eight with Lucy and muscled my way through the store with all the other shoppers. It was nuts, but worth it. $126 bucks got me about $260 worth of groceries. Gotta love the No Frills, even with all the, well, lack of frills. Glass Plus window cleaner $1.00. Catelli jar pasta sauce $1.00. Red Rose Tea 36 bags for $1.00. Do I need to keep going here? Why do I keep spouting off prices to you? I am in no way affiliated with No Frills. I think I need a new hobby.

I also did four loads of laundry last night. blechety blech. It's not the sorting and washing and drying and folding. It's the PUTTING AWAY. If somebody put an ad up for just putting laundry away I would pay them $20 an hour to do it. I love to fold while watching TV. Then I leave everything in laundry baskets and we pull and pick out of there for a few days, until I break down and open some drawers and put the rest away. And this is only if I need the baskets.

Ahh, this is turning into a housework blog. Bit of a drag, isn't it? Let's switch gears. Is that what it's called, switching gears? Sounds weird. Change gears?

I finished Amy Tan's The Hundred Secret Senses. Beautiful book. I cried at the end. She is a great storyteller. And her books read fast. Good stuff. Now I have started Pat Conroy's The Lords of Discipline. I remember seeing the movie years ago with my sisters and brother. I think it was on Superchannel back in the 80's. It really stuck with me. The four of us were so funny with movies, there were a few that we just got obsessed about. The Elephant Man, Why Me?, Table For Five, Hair...... We could have recited them by heart at one point.
Lords of Discipline is big and wordy and fascinating. Really enjoying it.

Alright. I have to go get my darling oldest boy in gear for school now. Wish me luck.

A.

On the menu...........

How is a person supposed to come up with SEVEN different dinners every week? I am standing in front of the fridge a few minutes ago and there is NOTHING. Frozen French Fries and Frozen peas. And a lot of unidentifiable leftover type things that are just takin' up space in mah freezer.

There is a package of little tart crusts in there, because last week I had this butter tart problem. I didn't end up making them, though. Just buying the crusts seemed to help.

I think I ate too much today. Let's see...
Morning. 2 cups tea w milk and sugar
1 piece Sunmaid cinnamon raisin bread with marg.
Little bit of yogurt that Luce didnt finish.

Later Morning.
Ummm, One and a half bacon and tomato sandwiches on toast with marg on one side and mayo on the other. Those were really really good. Every bite was like a month of therapy.

Lunch-ish.
Veggies and dip at Joanne's place, and two more cups of tea with sugar.

Afternoon
I package Maltesers chocolates. LOOOVE Maltesers.

Is this too much food? I think maybe one bacon and tomato sammy and maybe not the whole package of Maltesers would have been better. But what's done is done, eh?

This is why I can't get excited about dinner I think. I am sorta full.
I should go for a walk tonight. Or do a yoga tape. But I won't. I only do those things by surprise. I never do them once I mention that I will do them. It's like an automatic that will never happen now.

I had parent observation day at Monty's kindergarten class this afternoon. It was cute. I forget how bloody cute four and five year old kids are in a group. I love how none of them stands up straight or still, ever. They are always bending and swaying or balancing on one leg. I love how you catch a little girls eye and she holds up a band-aided finger for you to see.
Mrs Radan said Monty's doin' great. He listens and plays well with the other kids. Yayy!

There was a little table where four kids including Monty had to make a Clifford dog out of red and black plasticene. Not an easy thing to do. I kinda helped Monty as he was basically making a long cigar shaped piece and saying, "MY dog is only a TAIL". One other little girl was struggling to make a dog shape, then she gave up, made a round red plasticene circle and put black pieces on it. "THIS." She said, "is a Clifford Cookie."

I was like, you go girl.

A.

Orange Pop Fish Lips



Monty at his cousin Sadie's 6th birthday party yesterday. Can't believe Sadie is 6 today. Seems not long ago at all when we were all passing around this little fawn-haired baby with her dad's eyes and her mom's nose. Now she is a long legged little lady with her Duff Stuff and her giggles.



Happy Valentines Day, all.
A.

The Zone (not the diet)

I was there. On saturday morning about 11:15, in front of a hundred or so people, doin' mah jokes. It went so well! I remembered almost everything and even added new material right up there on stage. Unbelievable feeling, to be relaxed and happy in the middle of utter tension and performance. Someone's cell phone went off right in the middle, and I just incorporated it into my set, actually I got a great laugh out of it.

I'd like to figure out how to put a video clip link in here so anyone could check it out if they had a mind to. That would be fun. I did get interviewed from a lady doing a feature on the conference for the Toronto Star. She had some great red spiky hair going on, I was a bit in envy. AND her name was Elvira.

Some people have coolness built right in, eh.

Other than that my lady Lucy is sick. Little fever, big cough, deeep voice.
So I gotta go give her some snuggles now.
See ya tommora,
A.

"Keepin' your head above water,
Makin' a wave when you can.
Temporary lay-offs, Good Times,
Easy Credit rip-offs, Good Times.
Ain’t we lucky we got 'em, Good Times.”

Funny how as a middle class white kid I so identified with a poor black family on tv. I still don't even know what grits are. But I loved Florida (the mom), she was one cool lady. The dad used to scare me, though, I always thought his nose looked like an arrow pointing down.

So tomorrow at this time I will probably be pacing around the bathroom at ST. Joe's, waiting to go on stage and do my set of jokes that I have half memorized. Eep. I practiced it in the car on the way home last night, and I have about 18 minutes, but you know when you are up there, the hyper speed kicks in, (along with the dry mouth and the squeaky voice) so it will probably run about 15 mins. I just have to remember to SLLOOOWWW dowwwwnnn.

Ahhh, it's 8:10 and I think Sam is still wearing the clothes he wore yesterday. We had the dress rehearsal for the Valentines show at churchola last night. Went pretty good. It's all 80's songs, which get stuck in your head and make for some wierd high school dreams at night. Can anyone tell me what movie had the song, Total Eclipse of the Heart in it? Need to know.

ARgh. The yelling and the screaming and the chasing is going on down there. B.L.E.C.H. Why can't we all just get along, even when one person got Godzilla toys in the mail from ebay and the other person really really really really really really wants them?

Ciao.
A.

Who Let Their Dogs Out.

Ahhh. Today I did some running around with Monty and Looch. We went back to the Ministry of Transportation place, Drive Clean test form in hand, and all was well. Felt rather smug and responsible going back to my car.

Told Monty to go in Lucy's side and climb to his seat, as there were cars going by on the other side of the car. He did this, and I got Lucy in. When I went back around the other side to buckle Monty in I see this big smear of dog crap on the seat between the kids.

Eeuuw! "Where did that come from!?"

Look around, don't see any other crap. I do my best to scrape it off with the two baby wipes I have in my purse. It is disgusting.

Then I get into my seat. The SMELL. I am almost wanting to die with the smell of the crap. Then I go to put my seat belt on and my hand slides into something on the front of my coat.

Now I am uttering this low moan. Crap. On the front of my coat. On my hand. And now, on the seat belt. I jump back out of the car, yelling and huffing and puffing.

Some guy walks by and smiles at me. "How's it goin?" He says. I think he was stoned. I think the look I gave him probably wrecked his high.

I am standing outside my car. I have no baby wipes left. I grab a paper from the floor of the car. "Hey!" Monty yells at me. "That's my Jesus Homework!" (That's what he calls the papers he brings home from Sunday school.)

"Oh." I say. "You're right, honey." I grab an old happy meal bag, glad for once that my car is never clean. I do my best to clean my hand, my coat, the seatbelt.

The kids are smiling at me like two little summer peas from the back seat. Monty is pointing to the back of my seat and laughing. I look.

More crap. On the back of my seat. At this point I am looking for the hidden camera. Because poop doesn't just multiply like this out of nowhere, without special FX people in the wings.

But it ain't a special effect. It just stinks way too much. "My boot!" Monty yells.

I look at the bottom of his boot. It is covered in dog crap. It all comes together. He smeared it on the seat going across it. He playfully kicked me in the stomach when I went to do up his seat belt. And then he kicked the back of my seat.

Blech. I can't even write anymore. It hasn't been long enough for me to see the humour. All I can tell you is, I am off to SUDS tomorrow morning.

And check your kids shoes before they get in the car.

A.

The Forderer Eyebrows.



A.

Here's a song. Sung to where have all the flowers gone.

Where have all my comments gone?
Long time passing,
Changed my template, and they're go-one.
Short time ago.

Where have all my people gone?
Gone to comment somewhere else.
When will I ever learn?
When will I e-ever learn?

It's what happens when yer me,
Try to things differently,
When you know next to nothing,
It ends up miserab-leeee.

Thought I would change my blog look to something a little more refreshing, inspired by my can of lime diet coke beside the keyboard, it is just the prettiest dc can ever. But you know, I hit 'publish' and then duck and run. Because why would it work out? I totally don't deserve it to work out. I can't believe I have gotten this far without some sort of computer monitoring society shutting me down.

Ah well, let's hope the comms are not gone with the wind. I love my comments! Wahhhh!

A.

WANTED: TYPE A PERSONALITY IN INJECTION OR PILL FORM

Seriously. For the past six weeks or so (since Christmas) I have taken any paperwork that comes through this house- bills, cards, school papers, house thingys, you know the stuff I'se talkin' bout, and I have just put them in a plastic bag in my bedroom. Neat, huh?

So now when I need to find out how much I forgot to pay Union Gas last month, I have to dump out the bag on my bed. Or if Sam needs to hand in his Scholastic book order, or if I need that receipt, etc. I just dump it out, grab what I need, and then pop it all back in there, lickety-split cause you know I wouldn't want anything to get lost!

So Jan 31 is my due date for the license plate sticker, and of course I have all these plans on getting this done early, so I can do it at the kiosk at Eastgate mall. Problem is, the form thingy went in the bag a month ago, out of site out of mynd. I remembered on Friday that this needed to be done (hey, not too bad, only four days late!) but now I couldn't go to the kiosk but I have to go to the Ministry of Transportation place. Which is a fun fun place to go with three kids let me tellya.

Well, I go there, and oopsie poopsie, the lady tells me I have to get a DRive Clean Emissions test (which looks a bit rude when you type it out, actually) BEFORE I CAN RENEW THE STICKER. Hey, so weird, I said, I was looking for something else fun to do today with the kids. Actually, what I said to her was, "Oh no, the car is a 2002." And she said, "well, you have to get it tested every three years." And I switched Lucy over to the other hip so she could mangle my other ear for a change, and I said, "WEll, It would be NICE if I would have known that before I came all the way UP HERE."

I always pick the stupidest moments to be assertive. Being assertive makes an ass ert ive ME.

She quietly pointed to the spot on the form I had had in my possesion for a month that was in BRIGHT RED letters and read, "DRIVE CLEAN TEST MUST BE DONE BEFORE RENEWING STICKER".

Oh.

I didn't tell her this form had been carefully filed in a Fortinos bag for safekeeping from the day I got it until this day, and that I had opened it in the car just before entering this ministerial transportational hellenbecker building.

I just left. And made an appt for the Drive Clean test tomorrow. And prayed myself a little prayer that the cops wouldn't get me this weekend, like they did two years ago when this almost the exact same thing happened and I got a hundred and ten dollar fine.

Does anyone know of a place where they deprogram Type F people into at least Type B minus? Cause Army needs it. Big Time.

Whew! Long post, eh? It's just because I am busy putting off rehearsing for the humor conference that is in less than seven days. I wouldn't want to freak myself out and you know, be pre-prepared or anything.

Geez.

A.

Yayy!

My big sister had her second little scrumptious bundle of joy yesterday, around 10:30 pm!

Renee Meadow Walker (How great is this name?) our whole family can't wait to meet you!!!!!!

Hopefully tomorrow I will have a pic to post.

After every baby is born healthy, trailing its own little clouds of glory, I am in awe of the universe. Life. Is. Good.

A.

His milkshake is better than yowas.



Monty and the Looch dancin to Bear in the Big Blue House.

It's a beautiful thing. I have noticed my last few posts are all about the kids and the cuteness. Must mean I HAVEN'T GOTTEN OUT MUCH LATELY.

Ah well. It's too cold out anyways.

A.

Sam's Godzilla Speech Day

And boy, am I nervous. I was up at seven to check that the cue cards we made hadn't been stolen by cue-card-theives in the night. Gotta love that kid. He printed out his cue cards on the computer and on the back of each one he had, in huge bold letters:

Q CARD

If you don't have kids, you might not know this but sometimes the little things they do are so utterly sweet and funny that you could just take your heart out and pickle it and put a label on the jar that says, "ONE HEART: BURSTING WITH LOVE."

Now it is Wednesday and next week is the Valentines show at church with the singing and dancing and 80's costumes. And then Saturday is the Humor Conference at which I am doing a set of brand new material that I have somehow pulled out of me arse in the past few weeks. Just have to go over it about six hundred times and it will be perfect. Except that six hun will probably be more like, um, six, which means I shall be calling in some supernatural favours to help me remember fifteen minutes of jokeroos. They are not even jokes, eh. Just funny 'bits' from my everyday shenanigans that I hope other people find funny too. In the end, (ugh, I almost wrote, 'at the end of the day' which is my least favourite trendy and OVERUSED expression right now, it is right up there with 'where the rubber meets the road'.) IN THE END, it is all about being there and delivering the funny and connecting with people.

Jay turned 35 on Monday. I remembered as he was leaving at the usual 7 am and said, "Hey, Happy Birthday, eh?"

He looked at me with this blank expression. "Huh?"

Then a little light came on and he said, "Oh, yeah. What am I, thirty five?"

This is one of the reasons why I love that guy. You know your'e not too self absorbed when you routinely forget your own birthday. What a weiner.

Alright, well, I better go as Joanne is coming by with the cradle for the new baby that my sister should be having any minute now and my house is unfit for the human eye.

A.

Showing off........

Sam's OP ART. Kinda cool, eh.



A.