On Saturday the kids and I were at the mall, I was after getting a new frying pan since the T-Fal coating on mine is just spewing carcinogens all over the food. There was a booth there with these Dead Sea Minerals body care products. The salesman guy was this well groomed Israeli fellow who was exactly my height. He said, "Please come and look at this." as i walked by. I showed him that my hands were full of bags, plus I was pushing a stroller, plus keeping an eye on the two boys who were wont to streak off into Radio Shack at any second.

"Peut those down." He said. "Whin waz de las time someone pempered you?"

Like an automaton, I dropped the bags.

"I em gawhing to be right. You well see dis, it well amayhze you."

He took my hand, cleaned the nail polish off of one finger, and put on some cream. "Blehnd det in. Go ahed. And smell des fragrance wid de dead sea minearels. Do you know de Dead Sea?"

"I do know the Dead Sea." I said. "Um, well, I know about it."

"Yaes. This Dead Sea is amahyzing for nutrients. Yewh can't get dis ehnywhere else. I am gahwing to use the buffer on your nail now. I well be rahght about dis."

And he proceeded to buff and polish my fingernail. And, miracle of de miracle, my boys stayed put and just watched the guy. I think they were mesmerized by the accent. And he had the longest fingernails I have ever seen on a guy. And the crispest, whitest button down shirt. He was very interesting.

And very right! My nail looked great! Like it had a coat of clear polish on it, but it didn't. "Do you thenk I wes rahght?" He asked.

"I do." I said. "How much?"

"We are selling dis for $59.99. But today es the special for $39.99 for de whaole keet. It is a good deal."

"I am sure it is," I said. "It is just a little high for me."

"Bet you saw how amahzing dis product of the Dead Sea minerals is! You know Ah was rahght."

"I know!" I said. "It really does seem to be great. But that is too much to pay right now."

He hung his head. "You are the mahther of thes beautfil children. I make de commision of ten dollars on des package. I am going to tek that off for you. $29.95. Deal?"

"Deal." I said. How can I resist someone who calls my children beautiful and takes 10 off the top? And who wasn't afraid to deal with my raggedy ole fingernails?

I had to go home and check out their website. Here it is.

So. When was the last time YOU were pampered?

A.