WANTED: TYPE A PERSONALITY IN INJECTION OR PILL FORM

Seriously. For the past six weeks or so (since Christmas) I have taken any paperwork that comes through this house- bills, cards, school papers, house thingys, you know the stuff I'se talkin' bout, and I have just put them in a plastic bag in my bedroom. Neat, huh?

So now when I need to find out how much I forgot to pay Union Gas last month, I have to dump out the bag on my bed. Or if Sam needs to hand in his Scholastic book order, or if I need that receipt, etc. I just dump it out, grab what I need, and then pop it all back in there, lickety-split cause you know I wouldn't want anything to get lost!

So Jan 31 is my due date for the license plate sticker, and of course I have all these plans on getting this done early, so I can do it at the kiosk at Eastgate mall. Problem is, the form thingy went in the bag a month ago, out of site out of mynd. I remembered on Friday that this needed to be done (hey, not too bad, only four days late!) but now I couldn't go to the kiosk but I have to go to the Ministry of Transportation place. Which is a fun fun place to go with three kids let me tellya.

Well, I go there, and oopsie poopsie, the lady tells me I have to get a DRive Clean Emissions test (which looks a bit rude when you type it out, actually) BEFORE I CAN RENEW THE STICKER. Hey, so weird, I said, I was looking for something else fun to do today with the kids. Actually, what I said to her was, "Oh no, the car is a 2002." And she said, "well, you have to get it tested every three years." And I switched Lucy over to the other hip so she could mangle my other ear for a change, and I said, "WEll, It would be NICE if I would have known that before I came all the way UP HERE."

I always pick the stupidest moments to be assertive. Being assertive makes an ass ert ive ME.

She quietly pointed to the spot on the form I had had in my possesion for a month that was in BRIGHT RED letters and read, "DRIVE CLEAN TEST MUST BE DONE BEFORE RENEWING STICKER".

Oh.

I didn't tell her this form had been carefully filed in a Fortinos bag for safekeeping from the day I got it until this day, and that I had opened it in the car just before entering this ministerial transportational hellenbecker building.

I just left. And made an appt for the Drive Clean test tomorrow. And prayed myself a little prayer that the cops wouldn't get me this weekend, like they did two years ago when this almost the exact same thing happened and I got a hundred and ten dollar fine.

Does anyone know of a place where they deprogram Type F people into at least Type B minus? Cause Army needs it. Big Time.

Whew! Long post, eh? It's just because I am busy putting off rehearsing for the humor conference that is in less than seven days. I wouldn't want to freak myself out and you know, be pre-prepared or anything.

Geez.

A.