It Cost Me $11.61 to Be A Dork

As I said the other day, Operation Declutter is under way over here and I am the chief engineer. Yesterday I was ruthless, I was even taking clothes out of the dryer and stuffing them into a bag just so I could fill it. I have thrown out things that I never thought I would throw out, like notes from night school. When am I ever going to read them again? Never. That's when.

So I tazmanian devilled the house, and came up with about six grocery bags of stuff to bring to the Goodwill. At this point I had run out of garbage bags. I had to go to the post office/drug store, to mail some stuff and get some more garbage bags, plus they had foil on sale and that grapefruit flavored dish soap I adore. Outside the drug store was one of those big metal boxes that you can put clothing/household stuff donations in.

Yay! I could kill a few birdies with one stone. So I went in, mailed my parcels, got my garbage bags and dish soap and a few other treats. Came out, and got the junk bags out of my car to toss in the box.

I am shortish. Five three when my self esteem is at it's highest, five two on any given day. And this box had this little square near the top to put the stuff in that was higher than me. I guess this deters people from reaching in and stealing the goods in the midnight or something. So I had to take a shotput approach to getting the bags up and over the chute.

I got all the bags in, did that clappy wiping thing with my hands that you do when you finish a job and you feel quite pleased with yourself. I was free of all that junk! And brotha, it felt guuuuuud.

I get back in my car. Drive home. And realize I am also free of the stuff I had just bought! Aaahh! I drive back to the store, hoping against hope that I left the bag on the side walk.

Nope. It was gone. I had shot-putted that bag of newly purchased treats right into the donation box. Damn!

I tried to grab the opening of the metal box and lift myself up to see where it was. A lady came out and gave me a look. I jumped back down. "I put the wrong bag in there," I said, with a little laugh.

She looked at me like, "I bet. Garbage Raider."

I stood around for a few minutes. Thinking about what a dork I was, clapping my hands together and feelin' like a million dollar declutterer who just threw out 11 bucks worth of stuff. Then I went back in the store, and rebought the foil and the garbage bags and the dish soap and the Knor Marinade and the ziploc freezer bags.

And I walked by the metal box. And drove home.

And that's it.

A.