Thursday, July 28, 2005

It Cost Me $11.61 to Be A Dork

As I said the other day, Operation Declutter is under way over here and I am the chief engineer. Yesterday I was ruthless, I was even taking clothes out of the dryer and stuffing them into a bag just so I could fill it. I have thrown out things that I never thought I would throw out, like notes from night school. When am I ever going to read them again? Never. That's when.

So I tazmanian devilled the house, and came up with about six grocery bags of stuff to bring to the Goodwill. At this point I had run out of garbage bags. I had to go to the post office/drug store, to mail some stuff and get some more garbage bags, plus they had foil on sale and that grapefruit flavored dish soap I adore. Outside the drug store was one of those big metal boxes that you can put clothing/household stuff donations in.

Yay! I could kill a few birdies with one stone. So I went in, mailed my parcels, got my garbage bags and dish soap and a few other treats. Came out, and got the junk bags out of my car to toss in the box.

I am shortish. Five three when my self esteem is at it's highest, five two on any given day. And this box had this little square near the top to put the stuff in that was higher than me. I guess this deters people from reaching in and stealing the goods in the midnight or something. So I had to take a shotput approach to getting the bags up and over the chute.

I got all the bags in, did that clappy wiping thing with my hands that you do when you finish a job and you feel quite pleased with yourself. I was free of all that junk! And brotha, it felt guuuuuud.

I get back in my car. Drive home. And realize I am also free of the stuff I had just bought! Aaahh! I drive back to the store, hoping against hope that I left the bag on the side walk.

Nope. It was gone. I had shot-putted that bag of newly purchased treats right into the donation box. Damn!

I tried to grab the opening of the metal box and lift myself up to see where it was. A lady came out and gave me a look. I jumped back down. "I put the wrong bag in there," I said, with a little laugh.

She looked at me like, "I bet. Garbage Raider."

I stood around for a few minutes. Thinking about what a dork I was, clapping my hands together and feelin' like a million dollar declutterer who just threw out 11 bucks worth of stuff. Then I went back in the store, and rebought the foil and the garbage bags and the dish soap and the Knor Marinade and the ziploc freezer bags.

And I walked by the metal box. And drove home.

And that's it.

A.

16 Comments:

At 8:35 AM, Blogger Nilbo said...

Hilarious. And if it makes you feel better, I've done exactly the same thing, except got caught and quizzed by the guy at the Sally Ann when I rescued my brand new sneakers. What, like my ratty old team jackets are not good enough?

But you'll be fine. I'd recommend, however, that you stop drinking your dish soap, even if it's grapefruit flavoured. They actually HAVE juice in that flavour.

 
At 8:43 AM, Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

That's actually a pretty fair price for dorkiness. I often pay hundreds and hundreds to be a dork.

I need to go dork shopping with you - you are a true bargain finder.

And I'm with Nilbo - why are you drinking your dish soap? Or are we bein' silly, and you're merely seasoning your food with it?

 
At 8:43 AM, Blogger Bente said...

Oh dear, that's a funny one. I can imagine the look on the lady's face who saw you!

 
At 8:52 AM, Anonymous kalki said...

But you found your $69.99 camera battery, so technically in the last two days you have actually saved $58.38. :)

 
At 8:55 AM, Anonymous Candace said...

Oh Amy! Too funny! Well you and I are on the same wave length. I started decluttering yesterday. I am determined to get rid of this junk that is in my house. Why does a person keep soooo much stuff? I cleaned out the junk drawers and cupboards in the kitchen yesterday and cleaned out the bathroom cabinets and now I am working on the filing cabinet. I don't know for sure how long a person is suppose to keep bills and such but anything that is 2003 or before I am burning. Next is Tae's room. That should be fun!

 
At 9:33 AM, Blogger LadyBug said...

Oooh, I like Kalki's logic on this one. You're still almost sixty dollars ahead!

 
At 9:45 AM, Blogger prophet said...

These are the things that make you laugh. We have all done something silly like that.

 
At 9:59 AM, Blogger jennifer said...

funny! i wonder what they will price your goods at - maybe you can buy them back for a steal.
yeah, and why do they make those doors so high and so darn small - i usually have to pull out all my 'donations' from the big bag i stuffed them in.

 
At 10:30 AM, Blogger KC said...

I heart the grapefruit scented dish soap too.

And now, some poor unfortunate is going to have delicious smelling dishes!

 
At 10:50 AM, Blogger Juliabohemian said...

save that receipt for your taxes.

 
At 12:07 PM, Blogger Charlotte said...

I'm just curious of the name of the grapefruit flavored dish soap is? Could have some pretty good uses on smart *** teenagers! Just kidding...LOL Loved the story. Now hopefully you won't realize you really "need" something you donated. Besides the $11.00 stuff.

 
At 1:29 PM, Blogger jennifer said...

can i just say that you have inspired me with the de-cluttering - 5 grocery bags full of clothes for donation ready to go. i'll be sure to get someone tall to help with the actual donating.

 
At 4:05 PM, Blogger Mainline Mom said...

Oh Amy that is too funny. I could totally see myself doing that pretty easily.

 
At 7:00 PM, Blogger Tania said...

last year i did kindof something like that I bought a really nice picture frame for a friend for xmas, with some avon stuff and threw it all down the garbage chute (with the garbage) as the glass was smashing I was thinking what did i throw out that was glass then i saw the receipt...aagghhhh

 
At 7:15 PM, Blogger Annejelynn said...

I'm with Bucky - you got off easy! Myself and many others, I'm sure, have paid hefty price for dorkiness - if not utter stupidity at times!

 
At 12:43 AM, Blogger mrtl said...

This is so inspirational. I have a corner of the dining room cluttered up with stuff for next year's yard sale. I want it gone.

At least you didn't have to buy a new camera battery, eh?

 

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