Well Fine-all-EE blogger lets me post!

What day is it? Oh yeah. Wed. I was under the weather and lost a day or so, but now I'se back for the attack, and that is a good thing because papa forderer has night school tonight and won't be home till 10. Hmmm, maybe time to use those free Happy Meal gift certificates I've been hoarding...

It's springy out! And we get our new-to-us van tomorrow! Can't wait. That reminds me, I meant to open the windows of the stinky Accord to air the smell out. BRB.

Okay. Geez I hope they don't turn us away at the dealership tomorrow night. "Sorry Mr and Mrs Forderer. But we can't accept that stinkbomb of a car you have sitting out there. That smell is permanent. You are the weakest link goodbye."

Eeep. Now I'm worried. But we have already done up the deal, so they gotta take it, no? I mean, it smelled last wed when they looked at it and told us that we were responsible for paying a thousand bucks because there were some dents and a 'substandard paint repair'. They never mentioned the smell. I think I will just Febreeze the shit out of the carpets just before we go in. That should fool them. Okay. Feeling better.

Why am I so not an adult? I go around 96% of the time cowering in the corners, thinking that someone is ONTO me for some reason or another. Whether it is the junk drawer in my kitchen that is overflowing that I worry what if I die and they look in here and know I am a bad housekeeper? (As if tripping over the sixty pairs of shoes in the hallway and not being able to put a coat in the front hall closet because it is so full of CRAP isn't enough to give em a clue). Or the feeling that I haven't paid a bill and that someone is going to come after me with a pair of handcuffs. Or the secretary at Sam's school hates me because my kids miss the bus and she probably thinks I tell them to miss the bus so I can have an extra twenty minutes of free babysitting while they sit in her office afterschool and wait for me to come get them.

All these things, like the dread of having a smelly car, hang over my head like the anvil in the Wile E Coyote cartoons. And the roadrunner is up there, waiting for the right moment to drop the thing. And I feel like a kid. Scared and inadequate and incompetent. Blech.

All of you who are out there with your Type A personalities. I know it must be hard to have to conquer the world by 11 am. I know you are probably tired after those 10 mile runs while doing business deals on your cell phones and having cookies in the oven at the same time. But let me tell you. Us 'relaxed' people who don't seem to care about anything are no happier than you. At least you finish things. We not only don't finish them, but then we also feel bad about not finishing, not calling, not cleaning, not figuring out where that FRIGGING SMELL CAME FROM. AND knowing, (and the knowing is the part that kills me) that if we were BETTER PEOPLE who didn't have to let our kids eat and drink in the CAR because we are ALWAYS LATE fOR EVERYTHING, the smell wouldn't be there in the FIRST PLACE.

So it's all my fault. Everything. See how hard it is to be like this? I take a perfectly good springlike wednesday with a new car thursday coming right after and paint it with this gloomy brush. No wonder they say that scents can change your mood. Look what happened to me. I was in that car for ten seconds to put the windows down and now my whole life is a piece of crap. Dramatics 101 anyone?

Alright, well, I guess I will go make some neccessary phone calls. Or maybe I will just have some Easter chocolate and sit on the kitchen floor and sing Happy Trails to Lucy.

See? Which would YOU rather do?

ARRGGHH.

A.