Monday, March 14, 2005

Mommy hurts herself.

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Okay. See the nice family going out tobagganing after Daddy gets home from work.

Nice nice family. Nice night. Stars out.

Kids have fun. Oldest kid flying down hill on his super fast toboggan that looks like a surfboard. "Whoo Hoo!" says oldest kid.

Mommy sees oldest kid having fun! Mommy gets happy. Nice family out for evening on snowy hill.

Mommy says, "Let me try!" and jumps on toboggan/surfboard/deathtrap.

Daddy says, "What are you doing, mommy?"

"I'm outta here!" Says mommy, and jumps belly first onto toboggan/surfboard/deathtrap/body destroyer.


Mommy gets scared. At bottom of hill is a big patch of grass and hump. Mommy wants to avoid going over the hump. So Mommy TURNS THE TOBOGGAN at the last second before patch of grass.

At full speed, Mommy SMACKS into grass and because there is no more nice, slippery snow, Mommy's body slams into grass bump sideways and comes to abrupt and painful STOP.

Daddy yelps in horror from top of hill. Daddy would never do anything so stupid as he is a cautious and careful German person. Littler kids cry as they watch Mommy laying at bottom of hill, not moving. Oldest kid worries but also is kind of happy that he will soon be getting his deathtrap back.

Daddy calls to Mommy. But Mommy can't talk because her whole body is in shock from the impact. Wind has been knocked out of her. She tries to yell so he can hear her. All she gets out is, "unh."

Daddy comes down hill to see if Mommy is still alive. Mommy feels like how someone might feel right after a semi serious car crash, like, "Will I ever walk again? Is this the beginning of the end? Is there internal bleeding? Why am I such an idiot? What underwear do I have on?"

Mommy manages to get her breath back. Feels okay to move a bit. Daddy reaches halfway down hill and she gets up, stumbling around, trying to get her breath normal.

"Man," Daddy says, "Aim. What was that? Why did you think you could do that?"

Mommy scowls at cautious German Daddy. "Because Sam was doing it and it looked easy."

Daddy laughs a bit. "Did you forget you were 35?"

Mommy doesn't laugh. "Thirty four. And no. I just turned too late."

"Are you alright?" Daddy asks.

"Yep." Mommy says, and limps back up the hill, checking her ribs for breaks. "I am just FINE".

Age, my friends, makes a real difference on the hill. I don't care what anybody says.

Now I am off to find the A535.



At 11:56 PM, Anonymous mrtl said...

I'm sorry that I'm laughing. Your day cracked me up. Hope you're feeling better.

At 7:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to laugh because that is sooo something that I would do! Well, cheers to you for going for it! Some weeks from now, when the pain has subsided, hey, you might even think that you're kinda cool!
Take care Aim!
P.S. love the drawing!

At 7:46 AM, Blogger Nilbo said...

Exceptional artwork. I, too, have done that kind of thing. Only it was a very steep hill, a built-up hump, and one of those BMX thingies with the runners and the handlebars and the legs on either side of the frozen seat and the warning in teeny tiny letters that this vehicle is unsafe for anyone with testicles larger than sub-atomic particles. I went up, I came down, I joined the Vienna Boy's Choir.

Good times.


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