It's 8:16 am and I am ready to call it a day.

This morning at 6:57 I am trying to squeeze in a few more minutes of sleep, even though Lucy is up talking to herself in her crib and Jay had already gotten up with Monty at his usual 6:45. Jay had gotten back into bed after letting him out of his room. (We have a little hook and eye latch on the outside of his door.) This is not a normal practice. Usually when Monty gets up, one of us gets up and stays up with him. But not today.

So I get up to make Lucy her bottle, go downstairs, passing Monty's open door on my way. As I am coming down the stairs I see that the front door is open (screen door shut). My heart does a little hippity hop and I go into the living room and of course,

NO MONTY.

So I do a quick check through the house calling his name (which, if any of you have a three year old, calling their names is pretty much like telling them to be very quiet and hide) and no dice. I go up to our bedroom and grab a pair of jeans. "Monty is gone." I say to Jay, in an even tone, as he is predisposed to panic.

He leaps out of bed and we go outside. No Monty. I take one side and he takes the other, as we are on a corner. It is a bright clear morning and all I say to myself as I am walking is 'please God' because I am sure He knows exactly what I am referring to. Jay and I lock eyes across the front lawn in that desperate way that parents do when they have these things going on.

And then I see him. In the car, having a grand old time. He waves at me, big grin, and shows me that he has the car key in his hand. I just point at him. YOU.

I don't even bother to try to get him to unlock the doors from the inside because it will just turn into a game for him and I am not in the mood for him to have any more fun, thank you very much. So I go in, get the keys, Jay gets him out, we both yell at him and up he goes into his room. For a half hour. Which, when you are three, might as well be six months. Every time he yells, "Lemme out! I be GOOD!" We both yell back. "YOU DO NOT GO OUTSIDE BY YOURSELF."

When we figure the repetitious propaganda has had it's effect we let him out. And hope that it sticks. At least for a day or two.

I tell ya. A kid like Monty is not for the faint of heart. And if any of you are wondering why we don't have a lock on the inside of the front door, don't bother. We do. He brought a toy bin down from his room, turned it over, stood on it to unlock the latch, and neatly placed it beside the door. So today I am off to Home Depot to see what else they got in the way of home security. Forget burglars. We need resident security. From the inside out.

And some nitroglycerin tablets for Jay and I to get the old tickers back on track.

Gotta go. I got so absorbed in writing this that Sam has missed the bus. If any of you pass by a church today, wouldja say 'Hey God,Keep up the good work with that middle Forderer kid eh?'
thanks.