Thursday, December 16, 2004


Final exam in 1 hour, 50 mins.

Note to Self: Book babysitter for at least three hours before leaving house before exam. The NOISE and kids going splat and not eating dinner and arguing over stupid McDonalds toy mini sega games and Lucy sticking the ornaments down the vent and me tearing through the house trying to find my student card = not really being able to recall anything I studied for this exam.

So maybe I will just freestyle the exam. Forget the questions, and just write about what I did today. Hey, my kids are countercultural- they question EVERYTHING I SAY. Why do we have to have leftover shepards pie? Why can't I bring the cordless phone in the bath with me and talk to Grandpa? Why does Lucy get to stay up and I gotta go to bed? Why can't you take us to McDonalds? Why do I havta go to my room? Why? Why?

Why are you crying, Mommy? Oh my love I am not crying. These are tears of sheer joy and happiness that yet another one of my good dishes has been taken out of the buffet and smashed on the floor by Looch. I never liked them anyway. That my student card, which I know I saw two days ago, has disappeared and if I don't find it I will have to go to some stupid room in the exam area and get a temporary one for thirty dollars and probably miss half of the exam. That I didnt really study that much, just enough to confuse myself utterly and now I have a huge headache. It is pure delight being squeezed out of my eye sockets, at the treasures that befall me when I open the food cupboard and see that someone has opened a box of Kraft Dinner and ripped open the cheese sauce mix and sprinkled it all over the canned goods. Oh, excuse me while I kill this fruitfly that has come to visit in December, because I probably have some hidden garbage somewhere that he and all his family live in in the basement. I am just SO PROUD of myself for how utterly disorganized this house is, it is a great thing to almost kill myself in the night when someone wakes up yet again and I step on a Lego and it permanently brands the bottom of my foot with its little lego bumps.

See, this stuff could make for a great essay. I am off, to take two XXXtra strength Tylenol. And go get this exam over with.



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