And She Returned

oops, took a little blogging break, a bleak if you will.

Just a bloody busy week last week. Jay was not home before nine thirty pm all week. And I babysat my neice plus my friends little guy in the mornings. By Thursday when it was just my own three kids in the living room after dinner I looked in there and it looked like, empty.

And then my friend whose toddler I watched repaid me by taking Lucy and Monty for the night. And my other friend took Sam. And I was ALONE. For HOURS and HOURS.

It was awesome. If you don't stay home with your kids for a couple of years you don't get this, that feeling like you are a giant squid with tentacles hanging and kids hanging off the tentacles, that you have to drag wherever you go. That you have to listen to and feed and cuddle and threaten (I mean, discipline! honest!) and break up fights between and run after and clean up after and nine million other things after. ALL. THE. TIME.

So that when you actually amazingly get to be completely by yourself it feels weird. To be in the car and listen to whatever you want on the radio. To sit and eat dinner with your hubby and not have to get up once. To go to the bathroom without someone needing you to tie their shoe. To sit on the computer without someone yanking at your pant leg or smearing yogurt in their hair behind you because for that two minutes you weren't paying attention.

I get it, that these years go by fast and then the kids are gone and all that. And I feel lucky to get to stay home with my kids that I had and be there with them for everything. But sometimes....

And then I feel guilty for complaining! Because of Katrina. Because of Rwanda. Because of Sick Kids all over the world. Because of the Holocaust and 9/11 and all the people on Oprah who tell their terrible stories and make me cry. So I will shut up now. Because I have to! Middle child wants to go on PBS kids website.

Have a good one,
A.