Tuesday, September 06, 2005

And She Returned

oops, took a little blogging break, a bleak if you will.

Just a bloody busy week last week. Jay was not home before nine thirty pm all week. And I babysat my neice plus my friends little guy in the mornings. By Thursday when it was just my own three kids in the living room after dinner I looked in there and it looked like, empty.

And then my friend whose toddler I watched repaid me by taking Lucy and Monty for the night. And my other friend took Sam. And I was ALONE. For HOURS and HOURS.

It was awesome. If you don't stay home with your kids for a couple of years you don't get this, that feeling like you are a giant squid with tentacles hanging and kids hanging off the tentacles, that you have to drag wherever you go. That you have to listen to and feed and cuddle and threaten (I mean, discipline! honest!) and break up fights between and run after and clean up after and nine million other things after. ALL. THE. TIME.

So that when you actually amazingly get to be completely by yourself it feels weird. To be in the car and listen to whatever you want on the radio. To sit and eat dinner with your hubby and not have to get up once. To go to the bathroom without someone needing you to tie their shoe. To sit on the computer without someone yanking at your pant leg or smearing yogurt in their hair behind you because for that two minutes you weren't paying attention.

I get it, that these years go by fast and then the kids are gone and all that. And I feel lucky to get to stay home with my kids that I had and be there with them for everything. But sometimes....

And then I feel guilty for complaining! Because of Katrina. Because of Rwanda. Because of Sick Kids all over the world. Because of the Holocaust and 9/11 and all the people on Oprah who tell their terrible stories and make me cry. So I will shut up now. Because I have to! Middle child wants to go on PBS kids website.

Have a good one,
A.

15 Comments:

At 12:16 PM, Blogger LadyBug said...

Welcome back, dearie. I missed you.

 
At 12:51 PM, Blogger Annejelynn said...

glad you're back

 
At 4:23 PM, Blogger mrtl said...

Glad you got some time off, Amy! I don't think I like "bleak," though. How about breag? meh

 
At 5:13 PM, Blogger Random and Odd said...

Exactly what everyone else has already said.

 
At 8:48 PM, Blogger SoozieQ said...

Yup, glad you're back!

Don't feel bad for complaining, no matter what, you have that right.

 
At 9:49 PM, Blogger Mama Duck said...

Just because you complain doesn't mean you aren't thankful.

I do it all the time! :)

 
At 6:53 AM, Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Aaaaaagh, the squid/temtacle thing, just another item on my list of Why I Don't Reproduce.

 
At 6:57 AM, Blogger Bente said...

How nice to have the night off! Glad you're back.

 
At 10:07 AM, Blogger lawbrat said...

So true, the kid/tentacle thingy. Dont feel bad about complaining. Its better to get it out than keep it in.

 
At 12:00 PM, Blogger Candace said...

If it weren't for the bad times, how would we know when we have it good?

That's what I always say.

And after I'm done checking in on everyone and making the rounds, I'm going to sort through our closets and send off packages of clothing and linens and towels. It'll make me feel less "breag", as mrtl so succinctly put it.

 
At 2:10 PM, Blogger MMC said...

Welcome back. Amen to the kid thing. I'm still amazed when I'm able to be in the car alone. It usu. takes about 10 min. b/4 I'm reaclimated.....

 
At 9:18 AM, Blogger claire said...

glad you're back!! hah - i took the whole summer off blogging, because i couldn't while i was at camp its too busy. anyways, i saw you when i was at church a while back.. and tried to say hi but you're a popular one! haha.. but i still love reading your blogs, the brought me laughs when i was stressed and exhausted at camp. good to hear you're doing well!!
claire :)

 
At 3:07 PM, Blogger Mainline Mom said...

Missed ya! Yeah, I think we all feel that way when we get time alone. Except sometimes I get really bored. But I'm not alone much.

 
At 2:08 PM, Blogger Trace said...

yeah yeah, now get off ebay and update already!

love ya

 
At 9:20 AM, Blogger kalki said...

I loved this post. And I missed you while I was gone!

 

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