Sunday, January 02, 2005

January 2 whatcha gone do?

New Yearses Resolutions Made and Resolved in one fell swooop.

1. Get in shape.
2. Hah! I always say that and maybe I work out three times a decade. So I shall say, Keep a shape. Any shape. I resolve not to change my human form over the next year but maintain the two arms two legs and one head with a torso in the middle thing that has worked for me lo these many years.

1. Write that novel/screenplay/short story collection/poetry book/non fiction self help book/comic book/newspaper article/letter to the eddetter/renewed marriage vow/birthday card/cheque/phone number.
2. Hmm. I shall blog when possible. I will work on a few other things. I will utterly fail to write a few other things. I will continue to write late cheques and numbers down when I can find a sharp eyeliner or crayon.

1. Be more organized.
2. Hardy Har Har. I will hide more stuff in more places when people come over.

1. Have more patience with my kids.
2. Have you met my kids?

1. Put more effort into Jay and I's romantic rel'ship.
2. Hey, I don't even have time to spell the word rel'ship. I can only do what I can only do. And who says microwave popcorn and the Sopranos reruns ain't romantic?

1. Keep my car cleaner.
2. This one I may attempt. I am tired of praying that nobody looks in my car when I go somewhere. At the very least I will get a handle on the half timbits on the floor factor.

1. Eat more salad.
2. Why bother?

1. Have patience with my MIL.
2. Have you met my MIL?
3. No, really, have you met her?

1. Get off the computer faster when I hear my kids shrieking about something instead of rolling my eyes and then checking my email first, then moseying downstairs to say, "What now?"
2. Maybe I will mosey faster.

Thats all I can muster up. What about you guys? Anyone have any suggestions for me? I like how I am in the car with Jay and I say, "So, what are your new years resolutions?" And when he tells me them I am like, "Oh." And I am thinking to myself, "Ask ME what your resolutions should be. I have some really good ones for you." But he doesn't ask. And I am like, rats.

But if he told me what mine should be I would be like, "Hmm. Thanks." Then I would pout for a couple days, because when you tell someone what you think they should have a resolution about you are basically telling them they suck at something. And you just shouldn't do that with a lady. Guys should be able to take our loving suggestions but never never should the tables turn. Ahh, its fun to be the girl.

Better go.


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