Monday, March 29, 2004

I am hugging my kids extra hard today. And thinking of little Cecilia Zhong's parents and barely comprehending what they must be feeling. There is evil in this big stupid world. And why, why would someone do something like this.

Moot question. No answer is satisfactory.

It just taints everything, you know? I am sending Sam off to school with a lump in my throat. I am looking at the little ones and thinking, 'Will bad things happen to you?' Why have I been able to get this far, when other parents worst fears have come crashing down on their heads? It is like relief mixed with guilt mixed with sadness mixed with dread.

I guess in one way it smartens us up. Look sharp, mom and dad. Be careful not to miss how lucky, how blessed you are, with your big-eyed little wonders. Treat them kindly. Watch where they walk. Teach them everything you know.

Are we that dorky that we need these constant proddings? I don't know. I just know that when I hug them, there is so much in that hug. It is so much more than a physical act. It's like for that few seconds, I am branding them with my heart. These are mine. Please. Don't let anything happen to them.



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