Tuesday, April 06, 2004

As I am approaching my 34th birthday I am looking for signs of getting older and being in my mid thirties. Man, the people on thirtysomething were a lot cooler than me. Here are a few things i have concluded about where i am.

1. GOOD - I care less about looking stupid and more about being genuine.
2. GOOD - I am settled. Married, check. Kids, check. House, check.
3. GOOD - I don't worry so much about looking decent.
4. BAD - I don't worry so much about looking decent.
5. BAD - It feels WAY too good to 'put my feet up'. Ugh.
6. GOOD - I feel as though I have long lasting, good relationships with friends and family.
7. BAD - I don't have enough energy to be there for people as much as I would like to.
8. BAD - There are other relationships in my life that have gone too long without being nurtured.
9. GOOD - I am not that old. There is still time to fix these 'ships.
10. BAD - It is getting pathetic that I still don't have my BA. (I started U in 1989, for God's sake.)
11. GOOD - I will probably have said BA by the time I am, um, 35. (I swear my graduation will be like a made for TV movie, where the 'special' kid hobbles up to the podium and there ain't a dry eye in the house. Can anyone say RUUUDY? How about RaDiO?)
12. GOOD - I don't have to wear glasses yet.
13. BAD - I will have to look into wrinkle cream some time soon, those 'laugh lines' are not that funny.
14. GOOD - I listen to people way harder than I did when I was 24.
15. BAD - I still get caught up in my own 'stuff' too much.
16. GOOD - I still look pretty young for my AGE.

I will end on a good. Ten goods! Whoopee! I'm doin alright for an egghead. That's what my brother used to call me, mostly he would shorten it though, and just call me Egg. Of course I would have more good than bad though, because with lists like these there is a concerted effort to come out on top. Most of us have the loser list running in our heads as a default anyway, so I tend to give myself a break when it's going down for posterity.

Last night was better. Still up too much, but whatever. I don't think I have slept right through the night without getting up or being up a few times more than twice in the past four years. It's one of the things I really look forward to in my senior citizenship. Of course, I will probably be some batty old insomniac watching the street all night like my neighbor Bruno. But there are always drugs I guess.

I better go, I am doing the tons of time till school thing again, even though it's ten after eight.



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